Good mom or bad mom

The other day I was thinking that I'm doing a pretty good job as a mother. Which got me to wondering what others would think if looking at me with an outsider perspective. It really doesn't matter what others think, but I bet there would be a lot of people to think I'm doing a bad job raising my boy.

Maybe because I think it's funny when he cries after being startled or maybe because I've knocked his limbs into walls...and dropped the phone on his head the day he came home from the hospital. For the record, he didn't even open his eyes when that happened!

Or maybe it's a cleanliness thing. When I put him on the floor, I don't always use a blanket. Sometimes he's just right there on my occasionally vacuumed floor. I also change his diaper on the floor a lot of the time.

Could be an image thing. My husband and I with our confounded rock music and our multitude of tattoos. Or the fact that when I'm seen with my baby and my husband isn't around...and I look like a kid, I get the looks: "Oh another teenage mother."

Might be that I'm going to confuse my poor child when it comes to society's gender roles. He got a My Little Pony for Christmas and he's definitely getting a Cabbage Patch doll for his birthday or next Christmas. I've dressed him in pink sleepers and he has pink receiving blankets, not to mention a purple Bumbo chair! I call him my pretty beautiful boy (because he is) and I call him my little doll (because he is).

Despite all that, if people do indeed have those kind of ideas, I know I'm doing a pretty good job. My son is loved and he'll grow up hearing that from his father and I. He'll also grow up knowing that men and women are equal and we'll be doing our very best to ensure he treats women and all people with respect and kindness.

RJ will see his dad do "women's work" and learn that there really isn't any such thing as "women's work." He'll see how his Gramma supports her household and learn that it's not always up to the men to bring home the paycheck. He'll see me enjoying getting down and dirty with mud, bugs, and earthworms and learn that being scared of dirt and spiders isn't necessarily a female trait.

RJ will see and hear his dad cry and talk about his feelings and he'll see how his parents can speak with and laugh with each other as equals. He'll see his dad talking to his mom and valuing her opinions and ideas.

Not only will be doing our best to combat gender and racial stereotypes, but we are going to work very hard to instill a love of music, literature, and nature in our little boy (and future children).

If my son turns out to be a good man with good ideals and values, I know we'll have been successful as parents.